Just because I’m the most adorable goddamn Captain Malcolm Reynolds you’ve ever fucking seen and I said you could get a picture with me that does not entitle your hand pulling me all into your person made entirely of “keep calm and chive on” tshirts and axe body spray

Also if I’m in cosplay and you ask for a picture with me don’t slip your greasy ass hand all tight around my waist because I am too non confrontational to say anything about it but you better believe its gross and I am uncomfortable

If you’re a boy and I ever hear you say anything along the lines of “why is she cosplaying that she’s probably never even read it” or “fucking casual gamer just here for attention” or “I bet that chick used to be a dude” or any variations thereupon then all I will actually be hearing is “I’m a bitter little bitch and I’ve never touched a boob”

  • My sister: Why is her phone so bad what kind of phone is that
  • My mom: .......smallphone